I started my year with lips and a stubble pressed against my mound.
Urgent, fervent kisses wished me luck for the year and the years to come.
The last two years rolled into this one, all parts of the same chapter in my life.
I started the chapter as a brave, fearless heroine,
two years ago a reckless, broken-hearted wilding
Six months later, a fool in love twirling at zebra crossings with caution to the wind,
A year later, a broken-down shadow lover desperately holding on to a faded memory of joy.
Finger-banged in a ride to the airport. He was the one leaving I was the one left.
Sulking off a fight with a sister of my heart in the silent car on the way to the airport.
She was the one leaving and I was the one left.
Fear became my constant companion, this year and two.
I scratch my face anxiously, an itch below my ear an itch along my nose,
a scratch along my ankle, a scratch along the length of my neck.
The spotlight is back on me.
A bead of sweat arcs the coldest shivers within me.
These fingers are numb and heavy as they type these words.
Three more months remain.
I whisper a prayer, ‘May the years complete.’
‘May a new begin today. May the circle end today.’
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